Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Brother’s keeper

Brother’s keeper

Is he aware it’s not his own personal server?

Oops!

Oops!

Now his angry emails take forever to get here.

Memory-Lane Monday: Please tell me his name wasn’t Jones

Memory-Lane Monday: Please tell me his name wasn’t Jones

OTOH, a sticky on user’s monitor with nothing on it but his name won’t give anything away.

Name game

Name game

It’s complicated for YOU?

Throwback Thursday: Now who’s in a jam?

Throwback Thursday: Now who’s in a jam?

Everyone’s a comedian.

Singed

Singed

Remember: Safety first.

Time-Machine Tuesday: Keepsakes

Time-Machine Tuesday: Keepsakes

Wait, how long have office printers been a thing?

But I’m still me

But I’m still me

Someone’s having an identity crisis.

Flashback Friday: Give them a headache and they might be generous

Flashback Friday: Give them a headache and they might be generous

But we bet they’ll find a way to get that 8 cents back.

Throwback Thursday: Hardware isn’t his thing

Throwback Thursday: Hardware isn’t his thing

Maybe he’s just toner deaf.

Analysis paralysis

Analysis paralysis

If an ad is served in the forest with no one around …

Master of disguise

Master of disguise

That was quite a display.

Very interesting

Very interesting

Software takes everything so literally.

A network? No! It’s just sharing, over wires.

A network? No! It’s just sharing, over wires.

You can fool some of the technophobes some of the time …

Throwback Thursday: Planning a long career here?

Throwback Thursday: Planning a long career here?

Just set it to: ‘Archive anything sent before I was born.’

Wayback Wednesday: Twice as nice

Wayback Wednesday: Twice as nice

But how long was this guy able to avoid computers?

Dialing for dollars

Dialing for dollars

If a phone won’t work after drowning it, that might not be a network issue.

Out of memory

Out of memory

This is a truly iconic tale.

What ever happened with that float, anyway?

What ever happened with that float, anyway?

You can’t escape your destiny, summer job edition.

Throwback Thursday: Everybody gets an F

Throwback Thursday: Everybody gets an F

Shall we guess how many of those passwords were ‘123456’?

Load More